Chapter 11

The road trip went well and we won all our games. The flight home was loud, the boys were hyper as they only had another week of games until the playoffs, I am so proud of them.

Geno came and joined me on the flight for a while and asked me why I was so quiet, the easiest thing to tell him was I was tired after our trip but he did not believe me. I wanted to tell him that I was in love with his best friend and there was nothing I could do to make him love me back. I decided to talk to him about it at another time when there would be no chance of Sidney or any of the other boys hearing.

He also told me that he was thinking of proposing to Kirsty, I was so pleased. I was proud of Evgeni, he had come so far since I first met him, his English was excellent and he now very rarely reverted back to talking Russian and his confidence was immense especially on the ice. I knew Kirsty would be over the moon at the proposition of being his wife and will say yes immediately.

I went home that night and cried until I fell asleep. Although I am happy with my life in the US I just feel so alone and I cannot get past how much I hate feeling this way, I decided it was time to talk to Sidney again. I am going to arrange to meet him after training this weekend.

However, my plans to meet Sidney went by the weigh side. The way the league had worked out it was now too late for any other team to catch our lead and we had won the Eastern Conference, we were also the team with the most points so Saturday night ended up being one big party. It was a good night and since we did not have another game until Wednesday I cancelled training for tomorrow so that no one was in a hurry to go home.

Every time I seen Sidney talking to another girl it made me jealous so I decided it was time for me to go home, I hate feeling this way and I hate being jealous. I was not prepared to put a damper on anyone’s night so I said my good nights to everyone leaving Sidney to last. I had given all of the boys a congratulatory kiss so I could not leave Sidney out although I was not sure how easy I would find it to kiss him.

As I approached him he said “come on Gill you are part of this team too, you are not allowed to leave yet”.

“I am tired Sidney, it is past my bed time”, I said as I smiled at him. “I just wanted to say congratulations again and that I am so proud of you all”, at that point I stood on my tip toes holding onto his strong shoulders to keep my balance, I looked into those piercing brown eyes trying so hard to stop my own eyes filling up with tears. I gave him a kiss on the cheek and moved the usual lose curl back to sit in place. We stood staring at each other for a few moments as if we were the only 2 people in the room.

As I turned away from him he took a hold of my arm and turned me back to look at him, I told him now is not the time or the place to talk about this, we would meet up soon. I needed to get out. I could not let him see me cry. I seem to be spending so much of my time crying at the moment and I hate it, I hate feeling this way, I wish things would get easier, I should never have told him how I felt.

I turned away again and I heard Jordon shouting him so I knew I would get away this time, I heard Sidney shout me but I just kept walking, it was too hard, it is not meant to be this difficult.

One of the team’s drivers took me home.