Chapter 8

The movie finished and Sidney went to get us some more wine, as he sat back down he pulled my legs over so that they were lying over his and he pushed my blonde hair out of my face. I was shaking all over, those piercing brown eyes again were so entrancing, I was mesmerised. I decided now was as good at time as any to blurt out what I wanted to say.

“Sidney, I have to confess something, I have feelings for you. I think about you all the time and miss you when you are not there, I enjoy spending time with you, I think you have a wonderful personality and I would love to be more than just friends with you….” He just sat and stared at me not saying anything.

I got up and left the room for a few moments to let him think about what I had said, I went and made us a hot chocolate before I went back to see him.

He signalled for me to come back and sit where I was, we sat for a while longer in silence drinking our hot chocolates. I let him finish and I took his cup and placed it on the table, I sat back where I was and looked at him. I started playing with a loose curl that always sat out of place and apologised if he thought I was out of line. I explained that I had to get out the way I was feeling because it was eating me up, I asked if he could just say something, anything, even if it was that he was not interested and did not feel the same.

He continued to sit in silence so I continued to play with the curl in his hair and look into his gorgeous eyes. I explained about how I had been married before and that Paul had died suddenly of a heart attack just over a year ago and since then I had never let myself have feelings for anyone until now. I explained that the first time I seen him I was in awe and gradually with spending more and more time with him my feelings have become stronger and stronger.

Eventually, he spoke, “Gill, I don’t know what to say, I have never been with a girl before in any kind of way and I have definitely not been in love, I have always found it so hard to trust anyone because no one wanted to know me for who I am, they just see the sign saying ‘Sidney Crosby’ along with all the dollar signs and that is all they were interested in. I have such a busy schedule and I don’t know how easy it would be to fit in a relationship along with everything else. I am scared Gill”.

“It’s ok Sidney, I don’t see the sign, I like you for who you are. I could say the same these days, I walk down the street and I hear people talking about me, telling who they are with that I am the trainer for the NHL. I am not used to that, back in Scotland I was a nobody and suddenly everyone knows my name.

“The NHL throw money at me like it is going out of fashion and I can’t spend it on anything as either the NHL pays for it for I get it for promotional purposes, I am used to having to work hard just to pay the bills every month and now I have more money that I know what to do with.

“I work the same schedule as you do Sidney, when I am not training you guys or on the road with you and I working in the office trying to keep everything up to date there.

“Sidney, I cannot promise that I will not hurt you, but I can promise that I will not hurt you intentionally and I will do everything I can to make you happy and if that means forgetting this conversation has every happened and going back to being friends then that is what I will do.” I answered still looking into his eyes so that he could see how much I meant ever word I was saying.

“That is not what I want, I have had a brilliant night tonight spending time with you and holding you close but as I said I have never been with a girl, I have never even kissed a girl. I am scared but one thing I do know Gill is I really like you to and I want to make this work.”

I decided then that enough has been said for the night, I don’t want to take things too far and end up pushing him away. I got up to walk away when I realised I had meant to ask him something,

“Sidney, I forgot to ask you. I have front row tickets for the Eagles gig next month, it falls on a day that we are off. Would you like to come with me?”

“Wow Gill, I would love to, I love the Eagles” He answered suddenly looking a bit happier again.

Sidney went home about an hour later and I lay in bed wondering if I had done the right thing by telling him how I felt, I want to be with him but I really don’t want to lose him completely.