Chapter 16

Sidney fell into my arms and cried and cried, I managed to get him in and through to the kitchen where I sat him down at the dining table. I went and put the kettle on and got a towel to try and dry him off, I had some clothes of his up the stairs that had been left after one of his training sessions.

I managed to get his t-shirt off, he again had that white t-shirt on that he wore when we left New York, his body was stunning, it was the first time I had really gotten close to it, he wears a gold chain with an 87 pendant round his neck which I fingered as I dried him off.

I somehow managed to get him dried him off and get him partially dressed into different clothes, I told him to change his jeans and I would go and make him a hot drink and when I came back we would talk.

I made us a hot chocolate and went back to Sidney and sat opposite him at the kitchen table. He had changed his jeans and rubbed his hair with the towel I had dried him off with. His hair was all sticking up and the curls were wild, he was looking so sorry for himself.

He went to the bathroom to wash up so I gave Mario a quick call to make him aware that I had Sidney with me but so far I had not managed to get him to talk, I assured him as far as I could see he was ok.

I heard Sidney approaching the kitchen again, we was still sniffling. I was not sure if he had caught a cold or if he was still crying so I went to my medicine cupboard and I got him some cold remedies just in case, we needed him fit for the game tomorrow although I did not think it was the best time to mention that.

He sat down opposite me again, he had brushed his hair and washed his face but his eyes were still red and blood shot from crying, he was still cold so we took our drinks to the living room where it was much warmer and I cuddled up on the sofa with him so that he could get some of my body heat too.

“I am sorry Gill, I am so sorry” he kept telling me although I had no idea what he was apologising for.

“Gill, Mario has said some things to me today and it has made me realise a few things, for one, I don’t deserve you, I have done nothing but mess you about since you told me how you feel, I have been so horrible to you.”

“Sidney…”

He interrupted me before I got a chance to finish.

“Gill, let me finish. Mario asked me a few questions earlier, he asked me what is the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning? The answer is you. What is the last thing I think about before I sleep at night? What do I see when I close my eyes? What is the one thing that can make me smile when things are not going my way? What is the one thing that makes me forget about hockey? What is the one thing other than hockey that makes me feel alive? The list of questions goes on and on and the answer to every single one was you. He told me that I am such an idiot and that I must love myself so much if I cannot see how much we should be together and how much I have hurt you.

“I don’t mind Mario being honest with me and telling me when I am in the wrong but what hurt me the most is he told me that he is not longer proud of me, that unless I grow up and opened my eyes then he would need to think about taking my captaincy away from me and putting me on the transfer market.

“Gill, everything I have ever done has not been to make my parents proud, don’t get me wrong, I love them with all my heart but Mario is the one who has made me the person that I am and who has looked after me and helped me get to where I am now – he is the one I want to make proud and to hear him say that he is not proud of me anymore hurts more than I can begin to explain.

“He said that I do not deserve to be captain anymore because not only do I not respect you as a person or as my trainer, I do not respect my team, Gill, those guys are like my brothers, I respect them and you more than I even respect myself. We have had an amazing season. These guys have done everyone proud. How after everything can he say that I no longer deserve to be captain? I know that everyone deserves a chance but I truly believe I have been an integral part of the team this season and my leadership skills have really came on, I will be gutted if he takes my ‘C’ away.”

The tears rolled down his face again and he looked like a lost boy, he held me so tightly like he was scared I was going to get away. Eventually I handed him the phone I told him to call Mario. I wiped away his tears and gave him a soft kiss on the lips, something I had never done before. He took the phone and I left the room once I heard the ringing tone.